Malpractice of the Heart

Avery didn't go to the chapel. She went to his office.

She marched past the terrified administrative assistant on the top floor of the Neuro wing. She slammed the door open.

Julian was there. He had clearly run from the auditorium the moment the speech was over. He was pacing behind his massive oak desk, still wearing the white coat.

He stopped when he saw her.

"Avery," he said. "Please. Let me explain."

"Dr. Clarke," she corrected, her voice dripping with ice. "It's Dr. Clarke to you, Chief."

"Avery, don't," Julian pleaded. He came around the desk, reaching for her.

She stepped back as if he were contagious.

"Was it fun?" she asked, her voice trembling with rage. "Was it a fun little experiment? The 'Poverty Tour'? Did you get a kick out of pretending to be one of the little people? Did you laugh when I complained about the arrogant Chief of Neuro, knowing you were him the whole time?"

"No!" Julian shouted. "It wasn't like that. I never laughed at you. I hated myself every time you spoke because I knew I was lying."

"Then why didn't you tell me?" Avery screamed. "In the chapel? On the roof? In the on-call room when you almost kissed me? You had a dozen chances, Julian!"

"Because you looked at me like I was a human being!" Julian roared back.

The silence that followed was deafening.

Julian ran a hand through his hair, messing up the perfect style, making him look like Jules again.

"Do you know what my life is, Avery?" he asked, his voice dropping. "Everyone wants something. They want my name on a paper. They want my money. They want the 'Rockstar Surgeon.' Nobody asks if I'm okay. Nobody hands me a tissue when I'm crying in the dark."

He took a step toward her, his eyes pleading.

"That night in the chapel... you didn't know who I was. And you were kind to me anyway. You sat with me. You listened. For the first time in ten years, I wasn't Dr. Cross. I was just... Jules. I was terrified that if I told you the truth, you’d put the wall back up. You’d look at me with that disdain you have for 'rockstars.'"

"I have disdain for liars," Avery said cold. "And you are the biggest one of all."

"I fell for you, Avery," Julian whispered. "That wasn't a lie. Everything I said on the roof... everything I felt... that was real."

"No," Avery shook her head, tears stinging her eyes. "Jules was real. Dr. Cross is a manipulation. And I don't date manipulations."

She turned to the door.

"We have a consult," she said, her voice flat and professional. "Patient 402. Medulloblastoma. I'm the lead Pediatric Fellow on the case. I'll see you in the OR tomorrow morning, Dr. Cross. Don't be late."

She walked out.

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