The Red String

The maze was cold. The hedges were ten feet tall, thick and impenetrable. The gas lamps outside cast long, twisted shadows on the gravel paths.

"Julian?" Penny whispered.

She turned a corner.

Julian was standing at a dead end. He was shaking.

"Left... or right?" he whimpered. "It all looks the same. The walls... they’re moving."

"They aren't moving, Julian. It’s a garden."

"It’s a trap!" Julian spun around. He was sweating profusely. "He’s coming! I can hear his sandals! He has the sword!"

"Julian, look at me. Focus. We have a dentist appointment next Thursday."

"Cancel it!" Julian screamed.

He grabbed the gold chain at his throat.

"Don't!" Penny lunged, but she was too late.

Julian ripped the amulet off.

The transformation was violent. The velvet costume shredded. The handsome face elongated into the wet, black snout. The horns burst forth.

The Minotaur stood in the Queen’s Hedge Maze, panting, his eyes rolling in terror. He let out a roar that shook the leaves off the bushes.

"Oh, dear," Penny said.

"Finally," a voice echoed.

Mr. Seuss stepped around the corner. He wasn't holding a wine glass anymore. He was holding a sword—a blade of glowing celestial bronze that hummed with magical intent.

"I knew you were in there, Asterion," Seuss sneered. "Time to finish the myth."

The Minotaur roared and backed away, pressing himself into the prickly hedge. He was huge, powerful, and utterly paralyzed by trauma. He covered his face with his arms.

"Please," the beast whimpered. "Not the sword."

Seuss raised the blade. "Die, monster."

He charged.

Penny didn't think. She didn't act like a governess. She acted like a manager protecting her client.

She reached into her bag. She didn't pull out a weapon. She pulled out a ball of thick, grey wool.

She threw it.

The ball unraveled in the air, a grey streak in the moonlight. It tangled around Seuss’s ankles.

"What?" Seuss stumbled.

Penny yanked the yarn tight.

The legendary hero, the slayer of beasts, the King of Athens, tripped over a skein of merino wool. He face-planted into the gravel with a crunch.

Penny was on him in a second. She swung her handbag—weighted down with the collected works of Shakespeare and a bag of hard candies—and brought it down on the back of his head.

* THWACK.*

"That," Penny panted, "is for the bad review."

Seuss groaned, trying to rise. Penny hit him again.

* THWACK.*

"And that is for ruining his velvet cape!"

Seuss slumped into unconsciousness.

Penny stood over him, breathing hard. She adjusted her spectacles. She turned to the Minotaur.

Julian was staring at her through his fingers.

"Penny?" he rumbled.

"He’s asleep," Penny said, smoothing her hair. "Put your necklace on, Julian. We have to go before the Duchess sees you. She’ll think you’re a party favor."

The Minotaur lowered his hands. He looked at the unconscious hero, then at the small woman standing over him with a knitting bag.

He slowly reached down and picked up the amulet. He fastened it.

The human Julian returned. He looked at Penny with wide, awestruck eyes.

"You defeated him," Julian whispered. "You defeated Theseus."

"He has weak ankles," Penny dismissed. "Come along. I memorized the map on the way in. Left, then right, then straight."

She held out her hand.

Julian took it.

"Penny," he said, his voice thick with emotion. "You are... terrifying."

"I know," she said. "Now, stand up straight. You’re slouching."