Shotgun Rules

The file Brenda gave them had one name: **Stacy Miller**.

"Stacy," Kevin whispered through his own mouth as they walked back to the car. "She’s my ex."

"The one in the photo?" Jax asked, unlocking the El Camino.

"Yes. She broke up with me because I was too... passive. She said I needed to find my inner beast."

"Be careful what you wish for," Jax muttered. "Shotgun!"

"I am a Lord of Hell!" Zarkon roared, taking control again. "I sit where I please!"

"You sit in the passenger seat or you walk," Jax said.

Zarkon grumbled but got in. As Jax merged onto the highway, Zarkon started fiddling with the radio. He found a station playing death metal.

"Ah," Zarkon nodded, headbanging awkwardly. "The hymns of my people."

"Turn that down," Jax said. "My suspension can't handle the bass."

"You drive a chariot of rust," Zarkon sneered. He looked out the window at the passing palm trees. "So, we find this 'Stacy'. We threaten her with eternal torment until she reverses the spell?"

"We ask politely," Jax corrected. "Then, if she says no, I threaten to report her to the Warlock’s Union for unlicensed cursing. The fines are hefty."

"Boring," Zarkon said. He reached into the glove box and pulled out a pair of aviator sunglasses. He put them on. They were crooked. "How do I look? Intimidating? Like a predator?"

"You look like a substitute teacher having a mid-life crisis," Jax said.

"Kevin’s wardrobe is limiting," Zarkon admitted, looking down at the cardigan. "If I had my armor... or even a leather jacket..."

"Focus," Jax said. "Where does Stacy live?"

"The GPS knows," Zarkon said, pointing at the dashboard. "Kevin has her address saved under 'My Everything'."

"Oof," Jax winced. "That’s pathetic."

"Agreed," Zarkon said. "I can feel his shame. It tastes like tepid oatmeal."

They pulled up to a bungalow painted a cheerful yellow. A sign on the lawn read: *Namaste Yoga & Reiki Healing*.

"Of course," Jax sighed. "It’s always the yoga instructors. They dabble in mindfulness and ancient Sumerian blood pacts."